Funny Thing About Yoga

So here I am telling this amazingly beautiful woman, that happens to be a yogi – “yes of course I’d like to do a yoga class”… I had done a class once before, a LONG time ago, a power yoga class, and it was… let’s say… interesting…

The fact that I was in London, UK and happened to have mistimed my transport via the “tube” (London’s subway system) made me arrive 3 minutes after the class had started… a big no no in the yoga world… nevertheless, I walked on eggshells all the way to an empty area in the back, WAY in the back where I would try to hide from the teacher and just hope I don’t look too much like a fool… (by the way, for future reference, never walk in front of other yogi’s, you are “interfering” with their self image in the mirror – it’s not yoga etiquette) here’s where the unexpected happened:

For an hour and a half, the Bikram yoga teacher got me to completely focus on the task at hand, made me sweat almost 2L of water and got me stretching in positions I had never imagined… only to leave me feeling GREAT at the end of class… a feeling of regeneration is the best way to put it… and then I thought huh – maybe I would actually LIKE doing yoga after all!

So a few months later, fortunate for me, I get to see mademoiselle again and we plan some yoga classes – since she’s a yogi of course… in a 10-day span I took 5 yoga classes with 4 different teachers and anyone that says that the yoga teacher doesn’t make a difference is really, really wrong: there were big differences in the experiences between the Polish military gymnast and the granola rasta-haired buddha-chanting latino and the nerdy Bill Gates with a beer belly white boy and the ideal half-Indian half-caucasian Montrealer who knew exactly how hard to push us and told me I did an amazing job (ok ok, maybe that influenced my rating system – but I did do a good job… I think ?!)…

So I never thought I’d say this but I grew to really appreciate that feeling of complete regeneration after class… maybe it’s the constant sweating (Bikram yoga is done in a studio heated to 105 F or 40.5 C!) or maybe it’s the fact you are doing physical “labour” at a rate of slow motion which makes it hard but allows for you to stay in control and work your body in ways it seems it should always have been…

I actually went to my first hot yoga class on my own yesterday (not by choice, I would always rather have my senior yogi to stare at when I’m lost in a pose or simply to appreciate her attractive curves – what? don’t you girls think we (us, guys) check you out in class when your stretching and twisting etc? duh…

BUT since this time she wasn’t around, I had to actually focus 100% of the time on my mirror image and work on perfecting my poses… and it was great… of course I still feel like I’m made of brittle wood and will break at any moment – but I’m starting to trust the teachers who are always pushing us “Bend more! Stretch further! Squish harder!”…

As I was changing after class a baby boomer rushed in and as he was taking off his pants asked me “Where do I put my clothes?” … ah, a newbie, I thought to myself 🙂

“Just leave it here – you can’t take it into the studio… and make sure you take lots of water with you…” he he here I was giving advice!

“Just relax and you’ll be fine…” I told him as his face had an expression of “what the hell did I get myself into?!”… maybe he had been trying to impress a beautiful woman as well?…

But he wasn’t –

“I don’t know HOW to relax, that’s why I’m here…!”

… and off we went our separate ways…

Easy yoga pose

Sometimes you'll feel like your teacher is expecting you to do this...


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